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  • Writer's pictureMichaela A de Guire

Where did this hate come from?

As Catholics we are taught to love our neighbor as ourselves. Maybe this is more than just a “Catholic thing”... maybe we as humans naturally tend toward loving others. Maybe not. However, something I’ve noticed in the past few months (and, I could boldly say, I am not the only one) is this assumption of the worst done by another because they intentionally wanted to hurt us, rather than offering the benefit of the doubt. It would seem as if people are in an unconscious “hate” state of being. I mean, look at their faces, the RBF is a sad thing to see so many people.


Why is it that society now has this hate for one another? Is it a new thing? Has it been around forever, but is just now being exposed, expressed, and hurting others? Where did it come from?

Hate kills.

Have you ever heard the expression “hurting people, hurt people.” I wonder if perhaps the hate for our fellow human beings is simply an outward expression of the inward feelings and emotions badly hidden within the walls of our own hearts. Perhaps, we do not intend to hurt others or have a RBF, but we are simply unaware of how our actions, whether conscious or unconscious, are making other people feel. Or, maybe we are not loving towards other people because we are not actually loving ourselves?


Jesus taught us the greatest commandment, he said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40


So, where did all this hate come from you ask? Perhaps we really are trying to love others, but we are missing the very first step to doing so, and it is loving God. And, because we miss this step we miss the second most important step, and that is yourself. Before we can give anything, we first must possess it, we must have it to give. Without it we are an empty shell.


For example, if someone close to you asked to borrow $20, you would be able to give it to them, assuming you had it. However, if you do not have $20 to give, then you cannot actually give it to them, no matter how many times they ask. The same goes for anything, money, time, energy, etc. Maybe you have filled all your extra time with volunteer activities, but did you remember to schedule a little nap, or spa, or simply down time for yourself?

Have a picnic with friends

Did you remember to take a little time out for fun? Maybe have a day out with friends, or even a night. My grandmother is really good about scheduling time with a few of her best friends. Every once in a while we would ask her if she would like to do something with us on a specific day and she would ask what time, because she is going out with her girl friends. She knows how to take time for herself.


I work in a service industry, it is based on providing a service with goods. It can be a simple transaction between person to person, you give money and receive a good in return. However, each day I go to work I set the intention of blessing someone. I want to give someone more than just the goods they expect to receive in exchange for their money. I want to “make their day”, whether that be through my smile, the way I speak to them, or a question of curiosity, how are they doing? Once the interaction is complete, I wish them a good day. Not because it is what is expected, but because it is what I wish for them.


One day I went to work and was truly having a good day myself, another team player jumped on, rather new at this point and shared with me that whenever they said to a client, “have a good day,” it sounded fake. Seriously? Fake, I never got that feeling. I believe it is because I truly wanted the person I was saying it to, to have a good day. Does that mean each time this other person said, “have a good day” it was not legitimate? Well, if you, yourself do not believe you are having a good day, or have the potential to have a good day, how can you wish it to another? If you do not possess it, you cannot give it.

Giving is a form of love.

So, where did all this hate come from? I believe it stems from not loving, first God, then yourself and your neighbor. You are to put God first above all else. Once, you have your priority (not plural mind you) in alignment, then everything after falls in line and life begins to make a little more sense, maybe even becomes less hate filled. Then to love your neighbor as yourself, thus, to measure how much you are actually loving your neighbor, you have to love yourself. I’m not saying be selfish, but remember to schedule time in for yourself.


Hate is not of God, because it is not good. God is good. All things good are of God. Thus, hate is satan, it is not something we should endure, look to pass on to another, or hold deeply rooted in our own hearts. It is something we should promptly remove from our hearts, root it out, and throw it away. To do this we must first become aware of our own hate, whether it be toward fellow human beings, or an action they had toward us, or what or wherever it came from, we must first become aware, then start taking actions to remove it.


There is also an inner false belief that you are better than another. This is similar to hate, it borders on hate, but it is really more related to pride. Which in the book is actually sinful. You may not immediately think this as hate, but it is hateful to another. When you think of yourself as above another, you are saying or treating them as if you are better than them, you look at all their weaknesses and consider yourself as the alpha. You are then putting yourself above God. Maybe you justify to yourself, I am not better than God, but I am better than them, that puts me in the middle. This is wrong. You are placed here to help others, to serve them, to help them. So, stop sending this hate message out to others, and lift them up, help them out, give encouragement, and offer a smile.


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